Friday, July 08, 2005

Reality Bites

I never believed this could happen to me.
No. Good girls are not traumatized like this. And i have been more than good accompanying Amma on her million pilgrimages all over South India when i should be checking cute guys at Spencer Plaza.
Why me? I wouldn't want this to happen to my worst enemy. No Ma'am, this time capsule is not for you.


Sigh. Yes, I actually do. If someone had told me 2 months back that i would be in the Big USA(pronounced ooosah) and miss Metti Oli types sloppy serials, i would have not invited them for my funeral but then it is TRUE.

I miss listening to their News at 8pm which doesnt go beyond the DMK portfolio and how many lines of poetry MK wrote on water scarcity in Chennai and what Stalin feels about Amma (and this is not my mom it is TamilNadu's Holy Mother) and her chamchas...

Their comedy time on Tuesdays which play spoofs on famous movies and which are anything but hilarious and how the entire family never misses a single show...

Those thrillers on Wednesdays where they take 10 minutes to cross a 2 foot long corridor and just as we move to the edge of the sofa to see if the hero would actually open the door to the loo, Ta-Da! we have Trisha in an artificial accent saying why she buys Horlicks for her toddler...

And how can you forget those "First time in the history of Tamil Television" they show Thalaivar's Baasha for the 12th time...

And you don't find these reasons enough to miss Sun Tv?
Let's move to American television.

Channel 6( on my TV) -- 'Maury' show where the American mothers cry and discuss on how to stop their 13 year olds from getting pregnant... Reality Tv show 1
Channel 7 -- Jerry Springer where the wife and the mistress beat each other up...This beats WWF hands down on TRP i suppose...Reality Tv show 2
Channel 8 -- Pat Croce moves in to solve family disputes. That's a first!!! ...Reality Tv show 3
Channel 9 -- Boston network chooses Family A to solve 'amicably' the appearance of new daughter of The Husband born out of wedlock ...Oooh. This is not a run-of the-mill programme...Reality Tv show 4

And then my local News channel has this scoop on, hold your breath, "Did late JFK Jr have an affair with Late Princess Diana"...Gosh! Is this what they told about dying and still living?

I am not saying i was not curious about the affairs of the High and Flashy when in India but somehow it stopped with living people and it did not extend to whether late Silk Smitha (Porn Queen of yesteryears) wore chiffon in bed or not.

And when you just have the TV for company for almost 10 hours a day, you would expect something more than Reality Tv shows. Coz you know what, there is nothing real about them at all. To me, Ramesh Prabha and his pause-after-every-word accent has more entertainment than all of American television put together.

To quote from As Good as It Gets:
"This is too much reality for a Friday."

P.S: And if you know what happened in 'Chidambaara Rahasiyam' do drop in a comment. Thanks for being so nice :)


Blogger Ganesche said...

Nice one! Very true...reality bites big time in this place..

Movies ? TV soaps ?? is the place to be :)

P.S: They host chidambara rahasyam too !

12:07 AM  
Blogger Thetis said...

hello.. first time here.

love your blog, dont know most of the tamil(?) programmes you mentioned but.. i donno.. i like your blog.

just dropped in to tell you that.

carry on!

3:29 AM  
Blogger jax said...

Hahaha..because you are missing it so much...*clears throat*...NeengaL paatthakondirappada Sun TV yan Tamil maalai!!!

I dont remember the channel, but I love those dial in to listen to your favorite songs programs. The hosts are usually dressed in loud colors and they say "Romba Nandri" in the end. Its my "learn Tamil in 24 years" channel!

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Anu said...

Just wanted to say that I can 'so' empathise with what you are saying! I have been out of India for the past 7 months now... and when we managed to get the Indian Channels connection at home I was soooo pleased! I'd never thought I would be so happy to watch 'Jassi' and other assorted TV programmes!!!

Before this connection came, I didnt even have English programmes to watch... just Greek language programmes and one sole English News Channel :-)

Btw, have been a regular (but silent) reader of your blog! Always enjoy reading it!!

8:20 AM  
Blogger Angel said...

LOL@Jax's "Sun TV yan Tamil maalai!!!"

heyy what about the other Tamil Channels??

yeah those request-a-song shows are hilarious, where EVERYONE in the family wants to talk to the VJ...

11:37 AM  
Blogger Sagnik Nandy said...

oh welcome to the World of Maurie and Jerry S. Wait till the day when you see a 4 hr marathon of women claiming that all of the fifteen men lined up can be their baby's father and then they interview each father. if it wasn't for promiscuity - reality tv would be long gone :)

12:47 PM  
Blogger Anyesha said...

Girl, I can feel the pain...I used to laugh at the saans-bahu type serials in India...but 3 months of unemployment spent watching day time TV and I can sing paens to all the overdecked Ma's and Bahu's of the Great Indian Soap. Try your local Public TV, they usually have reruns of old BBC comedies and believe it or not I would look forward to it.

12:51 PM  
Blogger Vitalstatistix said...

Don't they air these sitcoms out there ? C'mon, even Zee English airs them......... You missed out mentioning an important programme on SunTV. I am not a big fan of it, but most people I know are. I guess masala at midnight is just not your cup of tea. And I protest branding 'Silk' as a porn queen. Whatever she did was handled very tastefully and the roles demanded it. We all should appreciate the value addition that she brought to all her roles. :D

9:25 AM  
Blogger Primalsoup said...

Of course one must miss Sun TV. I mean which self respecting Tamilian doesn't want to know what's happening with Abhi in Kolangal, what's the latest trauma in her life. All very natural I tell ya... Fret not, fret not, I shall keep you updated on all the travails. I promise to make it as real as it would be possible! All for a little fee, which we can negotiate you know...

And an Anu who watches Greek channels? Sounds like someone I know! :)

12:48 PM  
Blogger Primalsoup said...

And cute guys in Spencer's Plaza?! :O


1:05 PM  
Blogger pagala'k' said...

You should try watching Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown on NBC, FOX....I think its at 4 pm.Some of the cases that come to these TV courts are just hilarious!!!

4:02 PM  
Blogger Vignesh said...

Heh ! Im just going to wait for you to get hooked onto Emeril ! And thats when the fun really begins !! :))

BAM ! Lets kick if up a knotch !! ;)

12:54 AM  
Blogger Kumari said...

@Ganesche: Hi, How are u doing? So have u put your latest blog posts on INK folder at office? how is the response? :) We did see Anniyan from that site :)

@Thetis: Thank you so much and thou art welcome again and again with as many guests as you can bring along :)

@Jax: :-D that was so damn sweet of you :) Every channel has a call-in programme but the one in Sun TV is known for Priya who is as HUGE as her reputation :)

@Anu: Hey, so glad you surfaced. Thanks for coming so often and i hope i keep the interest going :) Greek channels? Were exactly are you? :p

@Angel: We never really watched other channels except when Sun TV got boring which was most times :p I used to watch Vihay Tv's Movie review with that long-haired dude from koothu-p-Pattarai (drama troupe in Chennai) -- he was damn cool :)

@Sagnik: Oh Yes! Tell me about it. I did see such shows. DOnt know if it is real or staged for the life of me!

@ Anyesha: :) i did find a work around. Now we rent videos of 'Fawlty Towers' , 'Wodehouse Classics' , 'Monty Python', 'Black Adder' series and watch them at home :) Long live the English :)

@ Vital: Oops am sorry your highness. Must have had a memory as delicate as her robes that i missed her 'value addition' :) I was never awake beyond 10pm when in Chennai after they introduced CAS. So no midnite masala for me :D

@Soupy: You do know Anu?:) is it someone from the SmugBug family of exotic and rare bugs? :) Do enlighten thismortal being! And yea, i am a self -respecting Tamilian so i will cook in return for all those updtes you will give:)

Well when you are in your teens, guys do look cute :)

@The Other K: Well i did try but couldn't sustain my interest for long :(

@Vignesh: Emeril? Who or what is that? :O

12:16 PM  
Blogger Sanketh said...

Aah the shock of Jerry Springer! That was the first show I caught on TV and I was sleepy from the trip. For sometime I wasn't sure if all that was real or if I just had an active imagination.

Try TBS for all those reruns. I think BBC America is a nice channel to watch during the day. And try Food Network. Some real cool shows there. And finally worst case you have History and Discovery.

9:40 PM  
Blogger sorna said...

My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!

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4:41 AM  

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