Sunday, January 16, 2005

The Mating Song

Few months ago, mid way into the search for a tailor-made son-in-law, appa called me and asked what kind of husband i want. The nitwit that i am, i decided to answer in verse. Here is what i gave him after staying awake through the night:

How would he be -

Him who is destined for me?

Will he be tall, dark & handsome?

With looks quite winsome?

Or will he shower me with pearls and gold

As in the legends of kings told?

Will he tell me a joke a day

And keep my worries at bay?

Or will he just sit and simper

When he hears me whimper?


Questions abound;

Whilst for an answer, I grope around...


I ask not for a Prithviraj

To carry his Samyuktha away!

Just a steadfast hero

Who'll with me always stay.


Hmm...Tall he needs to be

To clean those cobwebs, I can't reach.

Obedience his virtue; You see

I am strict when I teach.


I need no banker with tons of money

Just a doting husband to call me "honey"!

Hard worker blessed with a genius brain

Yet find time, to play in the rain.


Strong enough to handle pressure

And smartly ward off stress

Coz life with me is quite an adventure

Especially when we shop for my dress!


To stay not hungry in bed

He better be a great cook -

Coz though many books I've read

A recipe book, I gave no second look!


A soul mate very nigh

He should hear me before I sigh.

To sit with him under a starry sky

And read poetry; Don't ask why!


Oh Please! Let me not hear screams.

These aren't wishes larger-than-life,

But give wings to my dreams

And I am a wonderful wife!

Appa looked at it, smiled but said no more. After 3 more months of futile search, he came to me and this time he said "Ammai, i want to know what exactly you are expecting in a guy...No, wait, i don't want your verse. I want a practical answer".
I smiled and said "Okay, then just get me a Man" and i passed on Rudyard Kipling's 'IF' to him. He gave me an exasperated look and stopped asking me open-ended questions.
"Ammai, do you want an engineer?".
"Yes, appa".
"O.K, that's all i know and all i need to know".
It's almost a year now.
The Search continues...

8 Comments:

Blogger Sagnik Nandy said...

brilliant! oh and in case i forgot to mention - brilliant!

1:04 AM  
Blogger jax said...

brilliant! just brilliant!! this must be the echo-point:)

4:47 AM  
Blogger Vishnu said...

:-)

Maybe you shud try giving a poem to everyone who bothers you with questions .....

4:49 AM  
Blogger Rosh said...

Hey!

Nice to know at least someone who does'nt think the Baba Yaga is an Indian yogi! ... Great to run into you after all these years! ... Nice to see you're still strong in the prose department ... I still have that limerick you wrote after a disappointing campus interview ...

my strength was my brain,
and i was willing to take pain
they looked at me and said "bah!
we dont need no gals, naah!
that sent my hopes down the drain.

Keep at it! ...

5:46 AM  
Blogger Kumari said...

@Sagnik: Thank you so very much!
@Jax: Thank you so very much again! (echo)
@Vishnu: Aah..that's an idea. But then it's too much effort as against saying 'Ask no questions and you hear no lies' :)
@Rosh:Baba Yaga is famous in her realm :) Wow! you do remember that piece. Thanks a ton! :)

6:25 AM  
Blogger Vitalstatistix said...

Wow ! That was too good. Awesome.

7:40 AM  
Blogger AM said...

Great work!

Been a while since I heard a funny verse,
Which eventhough lengthy was quite terse,
Men will fear, you spreading such gyan,
Because the only suitable boy then would be superman.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Little Medusan said...

O “wife wonderful” of the “husband to be”
I pray u get someone who will bow to thee
Cleaning cobwebs is not all u need
Changing bulbs/tubelights is also a daunting task indeed

All the best for your all-in-one guy ;-)

5:19 AM  

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