Thursday, April 20, 2006

Writing Workshop - IX

Prompt: Start with 'The first time I heard about him/her...'

The first time I heard about him I had a feeling. Not one of those spine-chilling, nerve-wrecking ones but more like pressing daffodils to your diary and saving it for that special reason. Now is that a feeling? Maybe not, but you get the idea.

Anyways, he was in the same conference as my cubicle mate and apparently he handled a tough business proposition with aplomb. And that's when I knew he was my man, I mean, he could take care of all our bills; he will know exactly how much we should tip that snooty waitress in The Courtyard, what percentage of his, err, our income we should save to visit Paris for our second anniversary honeymoon... He is just right.

Now all I need to do is meet him. I can't just settle for weird Math skills now, can I ? I need to check out how he looks. Especially when he is this whiz kid. You know, I read in one of those Science journals, yeah those drab ones you find in your physician's office. Now, don't get me wrong but who reads such books? No pictures of Hunks with flawless skin or a model in an eye-catching bikini, I mean why would anyone want to look at scars and those tiny, tiny dots called cells? Anyways, this journal said that people who are good in Math need extra brains, so their heads are much bigger than ours. Imagine if He was like that? Sheesh.

But all these whiz kids are not weird for just that reason. They hardly ever think you can count. Take me for instance, I can calculate 25% of a Rs500 cashmere sweater in the seconds it takes to snip the price tag. It is Rs150. You'd think this would move him, nah! it is never enough. But this time I have a masterplan. I have Karma on my side.

No idiot! Karma is not his mother. Karma is this big bag of brownie points that you get when you do something selfless and good. I definitely had tons of it. Like that time when i gave up my cookie to that homeless man, I am sure that counted for 20 points. I know it was a stale one and I hated that smell, but still you know, I could've thrown it away. And that other time when I gave up my seat in the bus. I know if I had sat, that chewing gum would have stuck to my new white skirt but please, nobody, and I mean nobody helps nowadays. So by that standard, I'm sure I am the new age Mother Teresa. I think I should write to the Pope. You know, spread the word.

Anyway, I know it worked because how else do you explain the fact that he was at the railway station, at exactly the same moment I walked in to receive Mom? I felt I should just walk over to him. Mom? Oh she's heard about this city so much I'm sure she can find her way to my apartment. Of course, she wouldn't have the key but then what's a few minutes in the sun to a lifetime with a good looking son-in-law? I looked at him. He wasn't really tall but tall enough for me to stand on tiptoes to kiss him. Just like the heroine in that super hit romantic movie.

I smoothed my skirt anad walked stylishly to him and said, "Hi. I am Kumari". He looked at me quizzically and slowly smiled as realisation dawned, "Hi! You're the girl who jammed the copier in our wing. Did you really think you can copy that picture on your handkerchief?"

The first time I heard about him, I knew he was a JACKASS.


Blogger shub said...

haha! NICE! :)
and I like the girl's character..the way you've portrayed've said very little...but I already feel like I know her :)

12:12 PM  
Blogger Munimma said...

hey, that was good! And your writing style in this one is too!

12:58 PM  
Blogger Anyesha said...

wickedly gobsmackingly good!!!

7:49 PM  
Blogger RS said...


Reminds me of Sophie Kinsella's work!

I liked it!

7:51 PM  
Blogger littlecow said...

I am only interested in knowing if that science article is indeed true?! Assuming the brain is a fluffy sort of material, then math whizzes should learn swimming faster (more volume displaced, easier to keep head above water etc), unless... their legs can be shown to be weaker. Now, there you have a great opportunity to write a science article. Just go to the swimming pool and pose your math problems... :)

1:35 AM  
Blogger Ducking Giraffe said...

Hehehehe... But Griz, were you characterizing my friend LilyPoo cos she is exactly like this Kumari!

4:16 AM  
Blogger div_viv said...

aavgmgqHey, another Sophie Kinsella fan? I thot noone would have heard of her until i chanced on "Can you keep a Secret".
Shopaholic series is simply lovely.
Kumari, excellent piece. I was laughing all the while.
So you're the girl who jammed the photocopier???!!!!
I think that incident triggered the Sophie Kinsella connection, maybe not the style of writing...

4:59 AM  
Blogger RT said...

Ain't it always the case? They are all perfect until they open their mouth..:)

7:44 AM  
Blogger Ratna said...

Ahhh! I wish there was more.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Me said...

hilarious till the end!!

7:30 AM  
Blogger Vee said...

I second rs's comment. Does read like Sophie Kinsella's work. Had a good laugh!:)

3:29 PM  
Blogger Kumari said...

@Shub: Thank you :)I guess such a girl is within each one of us :p

@Munimma: Thanks a lot. will try to nurture this style more then :)

@Anyesha: Thankoo :)

@Rs: when you finish the entire shopaholic series in onebstretch, one must be ready to welcome the influence :) Thanks :)

@LC: Naah, i am pretty lightheaded(thats what the Mr claims) and if you try to find "scientific truths" in my works, then May The Force be with you :D

@Gif: Lilypoo? That rhymes with Mallipoo so much :)

@Divs: Hehehe, I guess I should have put a disclaimer saying it was the after-efects of Shopaholic series :) Glad you liked it.

@RT: I know. I guess that's what they would claim too :D

@Ratna: Wll try to heed to that request :)

@Me: Thank you :)

@Vee: Muchos Gracias and yeah hers is one influence I don't mind in my works :D

10:05 PM  
Blogger RT said...

really funny...i liked it a lot :-)

3:53 AM  
Blogger pagala'k' said...

the story was superfunny!

25 percent of 500 being 150 -Mathematical humour!

5:03 AM  
Blogger Kumari said...

@RT: Glad you did :)
@Kumar: Thankoo:) That was esp for "boys" who might not find a story on 'romance n shopping' interesting :p

11:49 PM  
Blogger Swathi said...

luved every word of this n of course a special kudos to that subtle humour bit which made me smile :)

6:36 AM  
Blogger Kumari said...

@Swathi: Thankoo :)

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tchoooo gud!damn funny!! - yea,i guess thats typical in...i basically dont know how to put thoughts clearly into words n thats how i respond to nice stuff.."tchooo gud!'

6:30 AM  

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