Monday, November 20, 2006

Behind open doors

Well, I've never performed good in any test unless I sneaked away to do something I was not supposed to, like I am doing now :D

A blog is a fun place to vent out your darkest feelings, especially if you are anonymous. But when you are not shrouded in anonymity, how do you get rid of all those pent up emotions? How do you veil in subtlety how much you hate your best friends for not being in touch, or for being in touch for all the wrong reasons?

How does one differentiate between 'being comfortable' and 'taken for granted'? Why is it okay not to openly tell anyone how much you miss them and assume they would understand the underlying love? I don't know.

Did you know I am the friend you don't have to be in constant touch with but can call after N days/months/years and still have a conversation as if it was just yesterday that we last met? Maybe the world does need people like us. Maybe instead of missing them I should stay in touch with the handful who actually write to me; the lost souls I found after zillion years.

6 years ago, a wise friend told me not to expect anything from anyone and THAT was the secret to life, love and everything. Nestled under a rajai with Reo Speedwagon in the background I must confess I never gave it a second thought. Until now. The wise man is much wiser now, lives miles apart and talks, well, once in a few months so maybe there is some truth to it. Or maybe not.

Gaah. I don't know. I 've never seen that magic point beyond which all pain stops. Like Roark said. 26 years it didn't bother me and I know it will be another 26 years before I actually do something about it.

Till then, I shall walk around my house, running to the door at the slightest noise for someone who might lose their way to my home.


Blogger Shirsha said...

yikes!!! dont get so senti, err.. actually say whatever you want :)
Cos blog friends are blog friends and will exist as long as legacies do!
Btw, nice to hear from you again, and for the other bday post here's... 'Congratulations'!!!

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

awww sweets >:D< I know how exactly you feel....but still we can never stop expecting, can we? It isn't too much to ask for, we feel sometimes!!!

now don't you desert your blog and us readers and disappear once again! HMPH!

2:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey... I have been around reading your blog for almost an year now...
never commented though
So you know people are there reading your stuff, so come back and write more...

1:52 PM  

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