Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Save my heart! Save your sanity!

February is Heart Health month. Mr.Monk just told me. So I shall have a cathartic rant session with my blog and hope my heart gets back to feeling all rosy and robust soon.

  • Being a good mother, not a great one, just a simple good mother is an extremely tortuous task. More so because you happen to be your worst critic.
  • I hate the fact my friends/neighbours don't drop in for a cup of tea. It's always me who has to go and meet them unless I call them all for dinner/lunch. Not that I don't want to do it but I'm still trying to manage a toddler who thinks she is on wheels and running a smooth family. I guess I am looking for re-assurance that I can be a mother and entertain friends albeit in a small way.
  • I hate it even more that when no one has heard from me in weeks/months it is still upto me to call and update everyone on my life or lack thereof. [Everyone who calls me might feel that way but unless they all start a blog and post so, this shall be the universal truth.]
  • Why is it so hard for people to understand that I do not want parenting advice? I carried her for 10 months and 5 days and went through a 55 hour labour to bring her out safe. I think I can manage now. Suggestions are a lot subtler.
  • The next person I meet for the first time at a social gathering whose opening line is, "So was yours Cesarean or 'normal' delivery?" will be answered with the equally important query, "So was the sex last night reverse cow-girl or just 'normal' missionary style?" Seriously! Unless we are random strangers sharing a compartment in Southern Railways trying to get through the journey with the secret knowledge we will never meet come morning, I shall not talk about birth stories or my innermost fears at our first meeting. And Cesarean is also frigging NORMAL! I didn't deliver her through my mouth.
  • Just because I am a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean I am not stressed. I feel it is too much to expect me to be understanding ALL the time of a working woman/man's stress. Try to differentiate one 'Amma'( I want biscuit) from the next 'Amma' (I need new diaper) to the very next 'Amma'( I just called chumma) and still wake up smiling for the 12 midnight 'Amma'.
  • I love you all - my family, my friends, my support group - but at times you all get on my nerves...just like I rub you all on the wrong side any given Sunday! 

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Blogger Rathish said...

"Reverse cow girl".. hmmm, nice! ;)

Reading this makes me feel like I am in QT or Sky lawns now. The cloud in the silver lining is that it is quite funny to read :)

Yes, I know - the reply is due. Will send it soon.

1:49 AM  
Blogger RT said...

I so hear you girl!
And working mothers are not spared either.
"Who looks after D when you go to work?"
That question just so drives me up the wall! I mean, are you going to look after my girl if I say none?

And you being your worst critic is so aptly put. But now, I am gradually trying to get out of that guilt factor. Heck! Why should a baby change the equations?

7:53 AM  
Blogger Ramya said...

don't thinkyou meant this to be a funny post but i found it hilarious!:) and i am thinking of the countless times i have asked women with babies about whether it was "normal" or "c-section" just to make some polite conversation! I hope to hold my tongue better in the future..:) and i totally agree about people not just "dropping in".. i hate it when i have to think of elaborate meals every time i want to have somebody over.. what happened to the "I just came for a cup of chai" routine?:)

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just for the record...a stay at home Mom has much more stress to deal with (if she doesn't get stressed, then its her greatness) than a working man could ever imagine. A working woman (esp Mom) can imagine it and if she still behaves condescendingly and goes on about the stress in her life, she should never be forgiven. In fact, this should be reason enough to sever ties.

And there are suggestions, advice and judgments...u didn't talk about those..the ones where u are told that the children are picky eaters...u have a hard time because u don't know how to handle it....u should cook at home/ make an aeroplane of the roti to her to open her mouth (with demonstration)/ be patient etc etc...

3:10 PM  
Blogger Kumari said...

@Rathish: I know soon is long time coming but this time around I'm willing to wait :)

@RT: I guess there is no greener other side to the mommy story :) Good luck to all those question throwers :)

@ Ramya: Don't worry! This is my third such rant post and somehow ppl always laugh, so you are not alone :) I understand the need to break ice but somehow i prefer open ended questions like "Hope your pregnancy was smooth?" which would give me room to expand or be crisp with my answer. Most times the ones who ask don't really want to know my story, they just want an opening to tell me how they did things :p

Sorry went off on you :p
But yeah, I think until we get rid of the phones n emails, we'l only have parties and no 'cup of chais'. Wish we lived close by :)

@tearsndreams : Welcome aboard! lol@ areoplane roti :) I am ok with suggestions. Sometimes, you do get some good ones that really work. But yeah, I hate ppl judging my parenting skills in front of me. I don't care what they say after I leave :)

11:36 PM  
Blogger Arbit Thinker said...

You forget to mention the breastfeeding question that complete strangers will ask you at every turn! :o)

2:26 PM  
Blogger Vee said...

Could I get that cup of tea? Masala chai shtyle please? It's still quite cool here and I could use a steaming cuppa along with a wonderful conversation :)

11:40 PM  

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