Saturday, December 08, 2012

To hover or not to hover -- Day 2

The Implet is having a playdate. I went and picked up my BFF's daughter. Another Tamizhian. Both kids know and speak Tamizh really well. A lot better than many of their peers.
Yet for some reason every minute they spend together they choose to converse only in English.

My friend and I spend most of our time during such playdates to constantly holler/whisper/shout 'Use Tamizh Goddammit!'.


Another day I was at another BFF's house and when I asked The Implet to speak in Tamizh for the nth time, my friend interjected. " Why are you bothering her so much? Let her talk in whichever language she likes to. The kids are playing, don't jump in".

I realized I was turning into a helicopter mom, constantly hovering over my kids monitoring their language. Not for bad language but for no language at all. My nightmare is not that my kid would swear but that she would lash out only in English and use nary a word in Tamizh. For me there could be nothing worse.

As much as I agree wholeheartedly with my friend that I shouldn't be a helicopter parent, I worry that if i don't push her often enough, her mother tongue would slowly be pushed to the back room and finally kicked out. I am not a born-again language fundamentalist but as a Tamizh speaking Indian making a living on foreign shores, my only connection to the world I grew up in is my mother tongue. I live in a melting pot. My children go to  school with other children from different cultures and their only common link is English. Her English is impeccable and rightly so considering that is what is going to help her navigate this global world. Yet my heart yearns that she doesn't throw away the sounds of her grandparents, the melody of her lullabies. I dream she would hold onto it long enough to pass it on to her progeny. What use are branches that reach to the skies if the root remains old and dying?

Note: Ignore the irony of penning this note in English

Friday, December 07, 2012

Marathon Blogging : Day 1

She is doing it so I am going to attempt this.
Plus this blog needs some really hard core resuscitation to come back from coma.

Trying to do it all as a mom, wife and a professional meant my personal interests took a hit.
Given a choice between writing or reading, I chose the latter as I could wear my judgmental hat and just laze around and pass comments on other people's life works - be it a blog or a novel. I needn't put myself out there in the world to be ridiculed at for my opinions or lack thereof.

However there isn't much growth if you read a lot but hardly have anyone to discuss what you've just read, even if it is something as inane as what temperature the house should be set at in winter.

I miss my old blog bubble - the camaraderie I shared with the few bloggers who went onto become good friends, the different viewpoints and the wonderful discussions- i miss it all.

I read many mommy-blogs and even though some of them wrote wonderfully I never felt at home with any of it. I couldn't identify myself as a mommy-blogger and yet who was I, if not a mother first and foremost? So i stopped writing.

The last time i was here, i was confused, rattled and not too comfortable in my own skin. Now i feel at home. This time I promise no wisdom but hopefully my kids didn't run away with all my wit. Wait a minute, can that happen?