Saturday, December 31, 2005

A year that was...

"And when I'm dead don't bury me at all
Just pickle my bones in alcohol
An amphora of wine at my soles and feet
And then I'm sure my bones will keep.."

-- from Asterix & Caesar's Gift.

Yes, that would possibly be my goodbye note to 2005.

1 year that twirled my life on its little pinky;
52 weeks of an emotional roller-coaster ride that has no signs of slowing down;
365 days spent in mumbling my way in and out of corners;
8760 introspective hours that only made it clear that i am better off as a shrink's pet study;
525600 minutes that slipped through my fingers like grains of sand on a silent beach;
31536000 moments of sheer ecstasy, pain, madness,happiness, numbness, anger and hurt all caught in a single capsule and stored in a dark corner deep in my mind to relive again and again and again...

Happy New Year Folks!

Monday, December 26, 2005

Those Three Words

Prologue Or some such note:
This was a short piece I wrote when I was doing internship(or PS as we say) in Bangalore with fellow Bitsian Maverick(His nickname of course) in 2001. We never got along and after the initial bitchy silent fights, we did decide to stop being fools and enjoy the rest of the time in office. During one such friendly spells, he proof read this article, corrected a few sentences and said it was 'Okay'. Mind you, not great but just okay :) We never talked after those 6 months and right now he is here in USA. Happened to see his snaps in a friend's album but never felt teh courage to say Hi. Wherever you are, I hope you've forgiven me for that 'kannada' movie audio cassette as gift :D

I slammed the phone down and ran as fast as my lanky legs would carry me to the fence. What I had heard on the phone right now had just tickled my brains; if brains could be tickled, that is, by what you hear from neighbours who live to your right. I ran to my fence and called out to Mrs.B, who as you might've guessed by now lives in that dowdy bungalow on my left.

As I leaned over the fence dreamily, I heard something that made me jump out of my skin (Well, figuratively speaking of course!). Have the Avians come all the way from Rama to give me the honour of listening to their recital? Or was it The Weird Sisters practising for the Witch Weekly Ball? In the moment it took me to organise my thoughts(Ain't really a thinking person so not many thoughts, you see!), I realised it was Whatsisname, Mrs.B's absolutely useless, not-to-mention ugly looking son, strumming his guitar. Thankfully he was part of one of the loudest rock bands in the locality; the noise the rest of the band made, subdued his 'music' immensely thus saving us all from a premature death. Jeez! My vocal cords are any day better than those abysmal chords of his!

Speaking of which, have you ever wondered why we don't have classes, like aerobics, for our vocal cords? I mean, they are darn important I say, giving voice to those innumerable opinions we have on whom Mr. So & So should marry or what Mrs. So&So&So should wear...Man! They are indispensable.

Why, I can already picture Mrs.B in one such class (She is the type that loves to attend classes and learn nothing) "Okay now, lift your tongue, let it touch the roof of your mouth and say 'Elle' " "Oh No! Mrs.B not Yellu, Elle...mmm" "We don't want to strain those vocal cords, do we? There...that's much better...on the cords and my ears. OK, let's meet tomorrow and learn all about Em. In no time you'll be able to say floccinaucinihilipilification with such ease, you'll feel as if you've said nothing at all!"

Me? Well, I have no use for these classes;Them vocal cords of mine are in an excellent shape, if I may say so. In fact, Mom always had this to say about them, "Shut up or they'll snap in two", which always elicited the same intellectual response from me, "Bah".

Who can stay put when you've heard from the horse's mouth that she spent an inexcusable amount on a custom designed water bed for her pet poodle? I cannot and would not stay quiet. I was still wondering how to convey the message with as much drama as possible when, Snap! (Must've been a twig snapping under the weight of Mrs.B) I woke up from my reverie and saw Mrs.B approaching the fence. Hmpf! about time. My eyes goggling with excitement I opened my mouth to tell her the hot news...

...Just three words echoed in my head, "Snap in two". The rest was an explicable silence.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Ethereal Design of an Unworldly Kind

This is what happens when you cross an engineer and a self-taught Interior Designer who resides in the interior confines of the author's mind.

After badgering The Mr to take me to Ikea where i spent a good 4 hours (which is a minimum) and not-so-few dollars i have finally decorated my home. This is extremely special coz i assembled the coffee table, side table and all the lamps :) Hear! Hear!

Btw, that sofa is indeed a bewitched one. You can't sit on it without falling asleep within a few minutes of doing so. One of the better purchases of The Mr while The Missus was away (If you do read this honey, shlightly excuse the exaggeration. I need to spice my story :p)

Ever since i completed this pet project i have been mailing all n sundry the pictures. Then realised it is simpler to use my blog as an artistic platform to boost my image ;).So here i am. Right now all that is left to do is stitch some deep red curtains (Yes i plan to do that myself) instead of the white blinds to bring out the colours of the rug( which of course you can't see in the snap) and use my power tool and hang up a few family pictures.

Until we meet again in another episode of Ethereal Design of an Unworldly Kind, this is the Carpenter, signing off :D
Happy Holidays!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

You are Screwed!

It's not easy to tackle any Missus. Not a fire-breathing one. And near impossible if The Mr walks in meekly at an abominable 10.P.M.
So how do you unhinge those locked doors?

With this ofcourse :)

Trust The Mr to add more Power to the already powerful Missus. With such an endearing gift,the Missus could but only smile and hug The Mr home. And also make his favourite Broccoli sautee.(Damn! i feel like i have been taken on a ride)

Btw, his reason for the gift :
"Well you are always tuned to the Home & Gardening TV'. So I felt if I bought you the right tools, it would save me more trips to Ikea. Plus i can boast that my wife is an electrical and electronics engiplumbpenter cookie " :D

Yeah Right!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

All for The King and The King for All

Last Friday saw The Mr dutifully taking his Missus to see the new movie 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' braving the cold weather and colder winds :)

For anyone who has read C.S.Lewis' "The Chronicles of Narnia", to watch it translate so beautifully on screen is one helluva joyous moment. The movie is as wonderful as the book and Narnia is indeed shown in all its breathtaking beauty and grandeur.

The only sad part was that i wasn't in Sathyam theatre for the show :( The American movie watching experience is not fit to be called an experience at all. We went for the night show and most of the people there were kids. And in a movie like this, i expected people to clap, laugh, scream and root for Aslan when he makes his grand entrance. But there wasn't so much as a whisper doing the rounds. If it weren't for the occasional giggles i would have concluded that i was watching the movie sitting inside The Witch's castle of ice sculptures.

Of course, yours truly is blessed with unbridled enthusiasm even in the middle of a cold wintry night and i kept clapping soundlessly and cheering for Aslan. The 12 year old sitting next to me gave me dirty looks as if i came from a different planet altogether. The Mr grinned widely and asked me not to scare away the little kid.

But seriously, how can anyone watch a kid's movie without getting involved? When Ammukuttz, Dudezie and i went to watch HP4, we had kids sitting behind us energetically telling their mom, "Look fiss" during the merpeople scene.And i screamed "Cedric" quite loudly thinking there would be others only to hear my voice sound alone and a spate of good-humoured giggles following that show of love :)

And the worst point was, after the movie ended not a soul applauded the effort of the team. How rude! They are not fit to live in Narnia. Hmpf!
So all you people who plan to watch the movie, please to cheer Aslan and the army as they fight against the White Witch :)

If you are married and have kids, do take them along. If you are not, borrow kids and take them along :) But make sure you clap the loudest in the hall.

Till then, adios amigos.

Let the candles burn bright

Dec6, 2005 00:00 A.M
The Mr: "Happy Birthday dear. Will you cut the cake now?"
The Missus : "Err? Hmm...Thanks. Goodnite"

And so dawned the most wonderful day in my life. My birthday :)
The first post-marriage b'day was indeed beautiful, considering The Mr went to great lengths to buy a triple deck chocolate ripple cake and very meekly said "I don't know to bake. Kindly adjust" :D

And since my family, my best friend and everyone else had pampered me with clothes, i kept chaning attire every few hours -- from my favourite Turquoise blue skirt to red tops and blue-grey jeans :)

Then ofcourse made potato pancakes for breakfast which The Mr somehow stuffed into his mouth with a smile and continued the experiment in the afternoon with Orange pulao. I must have hit a new 'high' with that coz The Mr immediately decided we spend the evening in a restaurant :D (Damn why didn't I use this Brahmasthara all those days i reluctantly made dinner :p)

And then as suddenly as it dawned, it also came to an end :( That's when i wondered why celebrate just a day when you can party all month? So i happily declared December to be 'Birthday Month'. Now you understand the delay in posting -- we are still celebrating my b'day in our Little Kingdom beyond Neverland.

All of you are forcibly invited. Gate crashers will be rewarded with an extra helping of my special Date cake :) And if you manage to bring a huge teddy bear then you get masala chai too :p

The only thing i miss is Abhoobear. This year there was no hug or wish from Abhoobear who is miles away. Hopefully we won't be so far next year :)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tying down the scarves

Click Click
Little Princess stopped knitting and looked outside her petite window. The ensuing silence threw a million tunes at her feet, begging her attention. The falling snowflakes created a new pattern on her freshly mowed lawn; like icing on a brown plum cake. Little Princess looked at her scarf. It was made of the finest silk on The Man's kingdom; a turquoise blue scarf with a dark blue conch shell pattern.

The conch shell. It was always the same. Every scarf she knit had a conch shell in it; as the design, as the shape or as the decoration beads on it. She never planned it that way but yet it was always there. And when she wrapped her neck with one of them, it was as if the conch shell was reading her a story; A story to forget the cold world outside and cuddle within oneself.

She had planned to stop knitting altogether. The Man was surprised but smiled just the same. Few weeks went by and the bundles remained undisturbed. The wind grew stronger, taunting not just the snow outside but the make-believe Ice Queen within Little Princess. And the knitting needles separated from their love-making, longed to run to each other.

As the snow twirled on Wind's arms, Little Princess' fingers fox-trotted on the easel. For every conch shell that was absent, there was a dodo on her canvas. And if she took up singing to painting, she knew she would sing just the ballads. Outside, the storm whispered its last minute goodbyes. And in the peace of her new white world, another beautiful soulful melody rose. That of the Conch shell.

Click Click ...