Saturday, April 30, 2005

The Lost Entry

"Write" they said,
"Write to win -
Your words never lose"
And i set forth to do
That which i've done all my life.
But words which waltzed
on my paper,
now stood still.
I pleaded, I cried,
I went on my knees;
The only answer -
Silence.
I was tumbling to my nadir
and no one to stop the fall.
"Somebody speak" i screamed.
Deathly silence
echoed in my ears.
I lost my words
And knew of no place to search.
Nothingness slowly pervaded my world...
"Write" they had said,
"Your words never lose"
My words did not -
But I did.

** One from my archives. Sent it to a poetry competition in college and as expected won Consolation prize :)

Friday, April 29, 2005

Grouch on the Couch

I just wrote my entire Greek Myth post and clicked on Publish to see it vanish into thin air.
Boy! Do I hate this moment?
Yes i do.
I am off home and maybe if i get back into the good mood, will try to recreate it; if not...Well i don't have a if not clause.
So long...

AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

To Sir, With Love

The Year - 1999 and the weather - a spine chilling cold winter.
One of those classes i was forced to attend in my first year(or was it second?) was Electricity & Magnetism and to make this highly confusing course befuddle us more, they had it taught by a charming young bachelor Suresh Ramasamy or Sura as he is still fondly called.

Sura's first love is Physics and i think it is his only love. The following poem is what i wrote for him and which he read out loud in class (after the bell had rung and there were only 3 other kids in class when he did the honour). Of course you need to keep in mind that i was this naive (my blog so i choose the adjectives) and innocent Kumari then, all of 18 years, fresh out of school and whose only memory of bearded men was Blue Beard & Prannoy Roy and trust me! they didn't make the heart beat any faster.

Short Circuit
Was it your droopy eyes
Looking down on me?
Or was it your drooling voice
Droning into my ears?
Which one takes the cake
In putting me to sleep?
Your monologue on dipoles
Sends me on a dream vacation
Right to the North Pole.
My brain is insulated
From your magnetism
And i'm thrown away
From your electrifying field of knowledge!
Will i ever find
The strength of my potential?

Yeah! Go ahead and smirk. But you would be surprised that he was damn well flattered by this unflattering poem of mine.(Of course before i gave it to him i did think of sth else to replace the 'Sleep' line which i can't remember now). He blushed, professed his thanks and from that day till I passed out didn't look me in the eye. Every time we ran into each other in those many corridors, he always found a grain of sand on the floor to admire.

Neither did i beat his Chemistry nor understand his Physics. I spent the night before E&M compre under Gandhi statue with two of my best buddies discussing a myriad things under a starry sky and made 13 in E&M; scraped into a beautiful D grade. He looked at my paper and then my face and said "Decided to give up is it?". We both smiled.

*Sigh*

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

An epic in Translation

Well after a really bad case of translation, Vishnu wanted the song 'Kaadal Seidhal Paavam' from 'Mounam Pesiyadhe' to be translated in English. Good Samaritan Mahesh did wonders to the song with his literary skills and here is the rendition in English for all your eyes.
It was supposed to be a joint effort but then since there is a "Tolet" board on my top floor, i decided to stay away from the song and thus a catastrophe was averted.

Three Cheers to Mahesh! You are just amazing Dude!

The English Version:

Over many a tiny episodes of taunts
you sew my heart with thorns,
with deft swordplay with my eyes
you left my bruised mind to wonder
if my falling in love was a farce,
if sorrow shall be my lone paramour?

I spoke of love as passing clouds
you presented yourself as pouring rain
and when I decided to drench myself
you burnt all my stakes.
I existed merely as language does
with you I flowered as a poem.
Now when I no more can separate my life from yours
You have turned yourself into a fickle dream.
Listen, Can't you hear the wails of my restraint
Can't you sense my love's refrain?

When I was a lonely traveller
u persisted with me like a shadow
When I turned a seeker you descended
into my laps as Truth itself
and showered me love with your words.
And when I let that love sneak into me
I professed, proposed, beseeched
Alas, never knowing you always belonged to another heart

The Original Tamil Song:


chinna chinnathai penne
en nenjil, mutkalal thaithai
en vizhiyil vazh kondu veesi
ilam manathail kayangal thanthai...
thunbam mattum en urava
unai kaadhal seithathe thavaraaa

uyirae...
uyirae...

kaadhal seithaal paavam
penmai ellam maayam
unmai kanden unnaal penne
pengal kannil sikkum
aangal ellam paavam
unmai kanden unnaal penne
[The above chorus not translated]

kaadhal verum megam endren
adai mazhayaai vandhai
mazhaiodu nanainthida vanthen
nee theeyai mootinai
mozhiyaaga irundenae
unnal isayaaga malarnthenae
en uyirodu kalandhaval nee thaan, ye penne
kanavagi kalainthadhum eno?, sol kanne
mounam pesiyadhe unakkadhu theriyalaiya?
kaadhal varthaigalaai kangal ariyalaiya?

kaadhal seithaal paavam (Repeat)

thunai indri thaniyaai sendren
en nizhalaai vandhaai
vidai thedum maanavan aanen
en vidayum neeyena
vandhaiye en madiyil
kaadhal thanthaiye un mozhiyil
en nenjil kaadhal vandhu naan sonnaen
un kaadhal veror mananthil ennai nonthen
kangal ullavarai kaathal azhivathillai
pengal ullavarai aangal jeipathillai

kaadhal seithaal paavam (Repeat)

Boosting the Male Ego

Guess what brings people by the droves to my blog?
  1. blog
  2. Vignesh
  3. Prasanna
  4. Ganesan

At least this what my Statistics proclaim. Damn! Double Damn. So much for the resident female ego!

GeniAss, you better treat me big time or is it the other way round? :p

Monday, April 25, 2005

Greek Myth III -- Laurels for the Lover

Now I know what my teachers went through every evening preparing for class the next day. And I was never the silent one, making their life as entertaining as is allowed within school limits. 
It was quite a task choosing a topic for discussion and finally decided to narrate one of my favorite love stories. 

 Big Daddy Zeus had two kids;twins through Leto - Artemis (goddess of hunt) and Apollo (god of music & prophecy) and today's lesson is of Apollo...his first love. 

 One day a young Apollo saw Eros (god of love and son of Aphrodite) play with his bow & arrows. Apollo being a warrior and having just slain the huge serpent Python(Refer **) felt it was not for a boy to play with such weapons so asked Eros to go play with something else.
 Eros considered this as an insult (The Greeks had a sharper & bigger ego than their noses i suppose) and decided to show Apollo his true strength.

 From his quiver he took two arrows - one dipped in gold to make the person fall in love and another dipped in lead to make the victim repel love. With the golden arrow he pierced Apollo while the lead arrow found its place in Daphne's(daughter of river god Peneus) soul. Daphne was a beautiful woman with many men seeking her hand in marriage but then Eros is no small boy either. His arrow taking effect, she shun them all. 
She took after goddess Artemis and wanted to remain a virgin all her life. The besotted Apollo ran after to profess his undying love and the maiden fled from him. Her dancing tresses on her bare shoulders, those luscious lips and beautiful eyes taunted Apollo so much that he could contain himself no longer and chased the damsel through the forest...across hills and stones she ran and he followed like a hound on her pursuit , swifter and stronger for her. What's with men not understanding a simple NO?

 Daphne had already made a pact with her Daddy. Should she call out to him, he should heed to her call (What are fathers for anyway?!). So when Apollo finally caught his lady love, she called out to Peneus to protect her chastity and the river God did listen to her. Her body become a tender bark, her hair leaves, her foot took root in the ground...she was transformed into a beautiful Laurel tree. 

Apollo stood transfixed at his Love, touched her ever so tenderly and said, "I loved you so immensely and now since you can't be my wife, you will decorate my harp & quiver. You will always be my tree and i shall wear you as my crown". Daphne-turned-Laurel tree acknowledged his love and accepted it. 
 
The Next lesson would be on Orion, Apollo & Artemis - The Triangle. **We shall delve deep into the childhood & adventures of Apollo on a later date. Also if you know of any parallels in our myth do pls leave a comment about it.

Welcome to Robot City

No, for the Nth time, i am not talking of the sci-fi flick which was much better in idea than on silver screen - "I, Robot".

Robots - This movie is one of the best animation movies i have seen in some time...make that long time ( i am yet to see Finding Nemo, Ice Age & The Incredibles. So stop rolling your eyes!)

This is not a review of the movie coz somehow i feel nothing can be said that would do justice to it. It being the peak of summer hols, the hall was brimming with kids in all sizes and colours with elders in all shapes and ages. Ammukttz, Shiva & I tried to blend in with the surrounding which wasn't quite hard coz if Family grapevince is to be believed, we haven't really grown much; neither in intellect nor in poise.

The Projector was suffering from a bad case of visual blurrrrr and after a few tweaks and a lot of 'Boooo's from the audience, the movie resumed - crystal clear.
And there was no looking back after that...2 hours of unlimited fun, witty wisecracks, funny spoofs and very very intricate and wonderful animation.

Don't ever miss out Fender's dance. Fender Rocks!

Who should watch this movie?
  • Parents with noisy kids. I won't say it would quieten them but it sure will make you equally noisy and your kids will give you a once over and say "Welcome aboard Dad! We never knew you could laugh!"
  • Cousins who are in charge of naughty brats. Time to sap their energy by making them laugh non-stop and gape with mouths wid eopen for some 2 hours.
  • Little girls who never grow up and Little boys who give them company in Neverland!Need i say more ? *wink*

Papa CopperBottom runs home shouting hoarse "I am a Dad! I am a Dad!". He flings the door open only to her The Mrs say, "Sorry dear. You're late. You missed the delivery". Papa Copperbottom is disappointed(Damn! how the hell did they make the robots show expressions?!!) but The Mrs says, "Don't worry, making the baby is the Fun part" and lifts a box of 'Do it Yourself Baby kit'!

If you didn't get the pun & the fun of the above snippet, this movie is not for you :-D

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Of oversights, scapegoats and no third item

Looks like everyone was concentrating more on the 'After Break' section than the one preceding it in this post . Sigh! What can i do when even the loudest shout is lost in a crowd of whispers?
If it wasn't for Vignesh's call, i wouldn't have realised that none had realised about my late realisation :)

***

Team A released Player C citing sponsorship reasons though they wanted to retain C. Not coz they believed C was an exceptional player but then C did as told and Team A needed such players.
Team B gladly took in Player C though they made C cool heels with no exceptional openings. Player C didn't bother so much either as there were bigger fish to kill like playing for the Hampshire County plus Team B's Captain was quite a nice looking Guy.

However, Team A's fortunes on the Ranking began to slip and they really couldn't blame it on their Star Players. So Player C was pulled back into the team, under cover.
Should Team A accomplish the impossible, there is always the adage "It was Team work and the boys did it" however should Team A fail to chase effectively and lose, then there is always Player C - The ScapeGoat, who just didn't know how to swing!

And I love Cricket :(

***
You never believe me. There is no third item on the agenda.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Empty thoughts on empty stomach...

If illusions are bad, why am i chided for being dis-illusioned?

The Big Apple

If it werent for that one fruit, we would still be strutting around naked and Gucci would be just another gurgling noise made by one of Adam & Eve's progeny.

A seemingly innocent fruit leading it's own life from conception to seed to flower to adulthood and then Kaput! All the world's evils placed on its tender shoulders to bear.
Just when i was feeling highly sorry for the Apple, i realised it isn't all that innocent either.

Did u think Adam & Eve were the only ones in trouble coz of it? Naah. Make that a big shake of the head. According to the Greek Myth, if it weren't for this fruit, there wouldn't be a Trojan War. I swear. It's true and you poor little thing thought it was all for Helen?

Well i know you can google for the Trojan War and find all this but hey, I LOVE Greek myth especially after seeing hot dude Brad as my fave Achilles (now did Achilles become my fave coz it was played by Brad...well that's for me to know and you to guess!)

Anyways, like i was saying, this chap Peleus got hitched to the sea goddess (also known as Nereid) Thetis (incidentally she is the mother of my hero Achilles) and the couple threw a fantabulous wedding banquest for the rich and famous...the red carpet was thrown for all the reigining and non-reigning deities except one little goddess Eris.
Now was that a wise thing to do?
No woman likes to be snubbed much less a goddess definitely.
You see Eris was the daughter Zeus and Hera - the goddess of Discord who accompanied her big bro Ares, the God of war into battle fields.

Her ego pricked, our lady gate-crashes into the party and throws a Golden Apple on the table saying only the fairest among them deities will get it.
Now one trick to make even the bestest of girl friends slightly compete with each other is to say only one of them beautiful. You can imagine the riot that ensued as the there was no love lost between the Olympian godessess.

Hera (Zeus' sister & consort), Aphrodite (Zeus' daughter & goddess of Love) and Athena (another daughter of Zeus & goddess of wisdom) all tried to claim the apple as their own. However ol' man Zeus intervened and declared Paris as the judge to avoid washing family linen in public...kind of paradoxical coz almost every other woman was his daughter if she wasn't his paramour. Modern day Casanovas need to learn a thing or two from him.

Anyways, the 3 women tried to woo Paris on their own. Hera promised power (how did she think Zeus would even allow it?), Athena wealth (to the King's son?!) and Aphrodite promised him the most beautiful woman in the world. (Aha, now you are talking a man's language!)
And as expected, Paris gave the apple to Aphrodite.

So where does Troy fit in here?
The most beautiful woman Aphrodite promised Paris was none other than Helen of Sparta, wife of Menelaus and as some legends insist, daughter of Zeus. (The story of her birth is another interesting anecdote but for another day).
Paris eloped with Helen and the destruction that followed Troy is on the silver screen for all to see.

Closer home we do have our own Godly feud for a single fruit, tho' not apple - Lord Muruga flying away in a huff to Pazhani when Shiva gave the fruit to Lord Ganesha. Ask your grandma for the details.

An apple a day...

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Amidst the rubble...

21, Neduvalavu, Vellam Thangiya Pillaiyar Koil Street,
Tirunelveli Town.

I was sitting with her on our thinnai (verandah)as early as 6 AM,the cold cement not bothering us a bit. My two minutes with her... watching the sparrows pick the rice grains we left for them. Her eyes are dancing with joy. Our Little Goddess. Grandma walked out and picked her up. Time for the next ordeal - her breakfast.

The scrunching of gravel made me look up. She was moving her gigantic bulk towards us; a slow walk that accelerated my fall into the abyss. The abyss that would be mine once her insatiable hunger is fed. She smacked her lips in glee. I closed my eyes.

1983. "Puja Neram. Ellorum Vanga" (Puja time. Everyone assemble)
Little Pujari tied her towel-dhoti tightly, swept a glance over her audience and went back to her puja. Bells chimed, arthi lit, the devotees were moved, more at her 'adult act' dipped in innocence than at the ritual performed to perfection. Will that Little Pujari ever re-surface from within?
The steel cot by the huge lamp, the wooden ceiling with ornate carvings with the B&W wedding photos of grandma's 7 kids...the blank wall where i had my first 'home theatre' experience with Kumaresh anna's 'movie' with discarded film negatives, a mirror and a magnifying glass...

Her roar shook me up. I stood far from the crowd trying to ignore the drama playing in front of my eyes. But then when the play is about you, you can never escape...did i ever want to escape?
She lurched forward and her fangs dug deep. The shadow loomed large.

Rendankattu -- the second living room. a long corridor like room housing everything from the new TV, the old bench, the rusted trunks that came with Grandma on her wedding with all her beautiful silk sarees...the small sky light letting sun play with us as grandma shoved that Ginger lekiyam down our throats during summer...
The stairs on the side leading to Mama's room upstairs...the room where we are running to now to exchange secrets...
The far corner with those wooden ladder taking us to the attic...the huge pickle jars, the wooden horse bought for the first grandson- Kumaresh anna; the cobwebs covering a treasure long forgotten...

The pillars had gone. The pillars i clung to when we played 'Kalla-Manna?'(Stone-Sand?); the stone steps and the cement verandah, the sparrows and she...all had disappeared. She charged menacingly now. Little did she know what she was taking away.

"5 more minutes please?", i begged. Thalavai pumped water at the water pump while i stood underneath for my shower. A little midget inside a huge sink. Mama & Thatha by the stove, having dosas made by Athai; the door leading to the bath room i hated to go...the muduku by the house(small gully) to run through with our skirts held high and their trousers in one hand after our morning ablutions by the roadside. No shame, no game. Only giggles and laughter.

I adjusted my duppata. The metal dragon had left, leaving in her wake smoke and dust and a mound of mud that was once our home. Our Heaven.

The living room devoid of any life as she lay silently, eyes closed having an unheard conversation with an unseen Lord. Our Little Goddess. Why did she have to leave so soon? Didn't i sing sweetly? Were there not enough sparrows for her here?

The curtains were drawing closer. The play had shifted stages but i? I was rooted to the same spot. Time to move on but how? It took a few hours and a metal dragon to put to waste what years of smiles and tears had built...does a similar fate await my new stage?

I don't know. I don't have to know. Mine is just to act and His to direct. I walked slowly past the abyss...the bundle of treasure weighing me down...the treasure the dragon never found.


P.S: Dedicated to the 'movers and shakers' digging up the roads of Tirunleveli :)

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

To Him

It was on a cold November morning that we met.
Our relationship has been growing in leaps and bound since then...including his circles, mine, theirs; in short- Everyone.
He listens to me when I rave, shout and throw my tantrums and laughs with me at my silly escapades and mis-adventures. And at every moment, of joy and pain, of ecstasy and depression, he always makes sure i am not alone...roping in those friendly souls and sympathetic shoulders for a journey through time...against time.

Okies, enough of beating around the bush, this mysterious 'Him' is none other than my little blog :)
My Little boy is no longer 'little' as he is 109 post old with this one...wonder how i ever managed to slip past that milestone.
Guess EVEN for someone who just runs off the mouth and arrogantly proclaims that it is 'gift of gab', it is a nice little achievement.

** Break **
And yeah, I am on a vacation from writing...ever since a trip in the auto with Amma to hospital was playing in my mind as a potential 'post' material.
So right now cooling my heels in shopping malls, fattening myself at Aunts' kitchens all over Tamil Nadu, making many people at Airtel & BSNL offices smile and clasp their hands in glee, decimating my account balance...
Simply put, doing my bit for The Pillai Clan and India's GDP...without an urge to translate every moment as a melodramatic soap opera.

Also, i would be back soon. So soon & in so mean a manner that you would wish that i just stayed away longer.
Till then...Much Love :)

And then there were none

I stared at the blank wall.
It winked at me.
One huge wall -
to draw winnie & daffy
and make them fall in love;
to make fish jump out of mortar
and breathe fresh air;
to scribble verses in vain
and try to hide the pain;
to chase away those shadows
playing puppetry
for an exhausted mind;
to just stare and look beyond-
beyond the sticks and stones
and search for a life...
to stop searching and just stay
in front of a wall -
A huge blank wall.

Monday, April 04, 2005

The Thank You Bill Board


Thank You Note
Originally uploaded by ponckumari.

This HUGE Thank you Billboard is for one Mr.Venu, who first conducted a contest in the project which made me write the aforementioned article and second for telling me such a contest was alive so i can send my work to Sulekha.

Thankoooooooo Sho Berry Muchas :)

Psst: Before anyone sues me, the above posture/card is picked from www.zazzle.com and No! i did not read the small print!

Party Time!

Yet another Monday and i guess it was no coincidence that i wore a bright Orange-coloured saree with matching bangles to office today ...'Tis the season to be jolly and the reason is here.

Dear Chidambarakumari,
Congratulations! Yours is one of the 60 shortlisted entries for the India Smiles Contest.

We are publishing two of the shortlisted entries each day from March 10 on Sulekha Expressions. This is to let you know that your contribution "What's In A Name?" has been published today. You may view it at
http://www.sulekha.com/expressions/articledesc.asp?cid=307626
These 60 exceptional articles selected by our review group will advance into the next round, where our eminent panel of judges will further shortlist thirty semi-finalists whose work will be published by Penguin. The three main winners will be selected from the 30 semi-finalists.

Warm Regards,
Sankhya
For Sulekha Editorial



As Mandoo puts it, this is Lady on cloud number nine on bench number twenty nine!
Don't go away.
Stay right here and we'll be back after a short commercial break...

*Breaks into a song, twirling the orange saree as in a Mani Ratnam movie *

Friday, April 01, 2005

A Date with The Maharaja...

Once upon a time in Tirunelveli, there lived a little chubby, roly poly girl...her handsome Grandpa's adorable pet. One of their favourite hang out joints was at the Main road...drinking in the sights with her kajal-lined big eyes -- of Mama Pig throwing a party in the gutter for her piglets, cyclists pedalling as if in no hurry, kids running around barefoot with katrikai-mittai (a sweet that left your tongue a wild purple colour!) and appala-poo (finger-chips Maxi Size); wooing strangers with her baby talk and toothless grin...Thatha and her little one were indeed a beautiful pair to watch.

So it was no wonder when He came to them and stood silently. Just as Thatha was explaining His name, He wrapped his hands around her and lifted her up into the air. While Thatha tried to maintain his balance and try to save his little girl, she gurgled ever so cutely and clung to Him & his friend. And then the walk began.
Down the roads they went, the amused little one and her Huge Handsome friend, with her frantic Granpa running behind, trying to keep pace with His huge strides. After walking down all the main arterial roads, He finally stopped in front of Thatha's shop. While Thatha expressed his gratitude in a materialistic manner, she looked up at Him in awe, caressed His hands and her eyes whispered a thousand "Good-Bye"s and "Let's meet tomorrow"s to Him.

*Sigh*

I guess that's when my love affair with those Tuskers began...Till date i haven't really been able to place a finger on this blind affection for them. Every time we go to a temple and i see an elephant,i have to rush to him and spend at least Rs10 in making him bless me. It could be her too :)

That dark skin and the wrinkles, the watery eyes and those big ears; they all remind me of Thatha! The way an elephant can swing you on its trunk, so can my Thatha...well at least he used to when he was younger...i still remember the times i used to run to the kitchen early morning to see Thatha exercising, and on seeing me, he would show his muscles just like those weightlifters and let me swing from his arm...that was when he was in his 60s & i was a toddler...now as a 85 year old with a memory that is still in that era, he is my little kid.

Sometimes when i look back, i guess i am in love with them more coz of my Thatha than anything else...Somewhere in my mind, i have made the connection between them.
Maybe that explains my hatred towards those mahouts who beat elephants....the reason why my eyes glisten and my heart beats faster everytime i see an elephant, be it on TV or real life...
the reason why i want to earn loads of money so i can somehow in someway give back to them , what they gave me - a smile and a beautiful memory.

They say Elephants can remember...
... so can little girls who refuse to grow up.

"Log Her", Blogger!

Blogger comments have got 'em fits once again :(
*Sigh*
I guess I can't procrastinate any longer...I am going to take that Holy Dip in the Muddy Waters of 'Web Design' and revamp this swamp :)

Or on second thoughts, relax... remain the Lumposaurus that I am and wait till Blogger behaves prim n propah!

Time to Tag IT!

btw: Happy April Fool's Day!