Snowy tales of nothing

Sometimes it is just not easy to write...not when you want to tell it all and yet wish all could be said in just a word.

Tired? That's a no brainer.
Happy? Most of the time.
Breathless? Hell yeah!
Hungry? ALL the time
Sleepy? One loses sleep just trying to turn the belly around.
Excited? You betcha! Just 20 more days to go.
Restless? Aaaaargh... 20 LONG bloody days to go!

Why do moms and kids live in diferent timezones? As a kid, I made every working day for Amma tortuous with my extremely slow reflexes and crazy demands. Amma had to go through a minimum of 5 stories to get me from my bed to the gates of the Daycare centre.
Best part : She could not repeat any story.

I've blabbered nonstop to my kid; from fairytales to crime thrillers, sang lullabies and peppy numbers dangerously off-key, recited my entire day, complained about The Mr, even threw in a bribe of a trip to Australia to meet her Aunt ~D. No change in status. Darn it! The little brat refuses to budge. My eviction notice is gathering dust on the coffee table while the trickster keeps kicking and head-butting me from within.
Note to baby: Oh! you are so grounded from the minute you're born!

Anyways, I am off now to spend the next 30 minutes in finding that elusive "Comfortable" position to sleep in. Irony of it is, the minute I find it, I need to use the bathroom :(

Notes on a Diaper -2

Month Two

By now the Calvins and Harry Potters on your book shelves have sold their prime real estate to pregnancy books written by condescending doctor-moms who just want to bore the living daylights out of you. Every page has an advice specifically written for the mother, so you make it a point to go to the nearest bookstore and buy the lucky husband his own copy of “So you’re going to be a Dad”. Then you spend the rest of the night reading it and laughing your head off while the husband snores till kingdom come.

As for hint #1, it still hasn’t made an appearance. But fret not, there’s always hint #2 to make life sexier than ever before.

Full length mirror - $20
Sexy Black Dress - $35
The Look in the smitten husband’s eyes – Priceless.

Sigh, just when you thought you could actually handle this pregnancy thingy, in walks Ms.Obnoxious Nausea, wearing 5 inch stilettos [the ones that you can’t manage to crawl in much less walk] and with an evil laugh that stays with you throughout the day. Your sense of smell increases exponentially that you can give the bomb squad dogs a run for their money.

And that’s when you realize that making out in the kitchen can no longer be steamy…not when you can smell the coconut oil you poured down the drain a month ago.

Notes on a diaper - 1

First Month

The second you find out there’s a little life growing inside you, you want to get up on the rooftop, do cartwheels and scream at the top of your voice, “I’m pregnant!”. But of course, since such shenanigans aren’t really appreciated by all much less by the belly-resident, you settle for a meek “Yippee!”

The next second you want the baby. I mean, if Kunti can just mumble a few words in sanskrit and have a baby, why shouldn’t you? Apparently, giving birth without blood and pain ended with Karna. So much for miracles of science, bah!

Anyway, common sense and familial pressure insist you wait a minimum of 15 weeks before you paint the neighbourhood with pictures of your growing belly, but seriously who can wait that long? So you spend the rest of the month coming up with creative ideas to break the news to people in as subtle a manner as possible.

No! Wearing a bulky sweater inside a shirt, in mid-May is not entirely a bright idea. Nor is rubbing your flat (well, almost flat) belly in a crowded subway.

P.S: As I found out, writing subtle blogposts on colour Blue also ain't really a hint :p