Of Nuts and Bolts and many more...

Disclaimer:
I wrote this a long time ago but publishing it now & here to pacify that violent mob outside a certain tech firm in Chennai :p
Excuse Me, Kindly Adjust!

....

Numismatics? Philately? Nah! I’ve tried my hand at all that and then at the wizened age of eight I received my CALL! From then on, my day began under lorries, cars, autos, any vehicle parked on the road. My eyes were glued to the not-so-inviting Madras streets in search of that lovely piece of art, priceless treasure without which my collection would be incomplete….YES! I collected bolts and nuts, much to the chagrin of my mom who stopped short of taking me to the shrink. Hmpf! Parents, I say, the speed breakers to creativity! Amidst squeals of laughter and wisecracks about how all the nuts I was finding were really the ones I lost, my collection grew. Long ones, rustic relics, new shiny bolts, screws with those threads running non-stop around it…I mean, what an ingenious creation and here was I saving them for art’s sake and crucified for the very same reason. Now I know how Rosetti must have felt!

Well I hadn’t bargained for my mom’s waning patience. So, one fateful night, my collection returned to the very place from where I found them, the streets.

I was morose for a week till my eyes fell on the wonderful use of Cocus nucifera, the coconut, for lesser-known mortals. Pay back time. Well-dried coconut fiber was used to make rope and my pass-time was shredding this rope using dad’s 7’o clock Ejtek blade back into soft coir! I have no idea what higher force stopped my dad from tearing his hair out (May be the absence of hair had something to do with it). Coir, coir everywhere, but not a rope to bind. I knew my time was out, when by some unforeseen misfortune, read MOTHER, my “coir” bag got lost while shifting houses.

Time flew, and I grew. After phases of beads, marbles, shoes (this collection bit my dad’s wallet so hard, he hit the roof!), I decided to throw in the towel. Did you hear QUIT? Nope, once a collector, always a collector!

However I had decided to be pragmatic and cash in on my life. Now I collect memories. Memories that might come useful when I publish my autobiography. Book lovers get ready for a priceless collection! Available soon at all bookshops, the first in the series of memoirs, my very own, “A Collector’s Guide to How to hoodwink Super Mom!”

Untitled

I breathed my first –
Eyes closed,
In a wild storm
Shouting a million whispers;
Your name.

I breathed my last –
On an empty park bench
Under a twilight sky
Staring at your back;
As you walked away.

Been too silent

for too long...but hey! this gruelling schedule is making life hell :(
I hate to see my blog so dead n dull...so the next post is going to be a LOOOONG story which i wrote aeons ago.

I wrote it a few months after being hugged and welcomed by the IT industry...when i felt the hug tightening and my breath catching in my chest.

Kindly Eshus me if it is far from entertaining!

untitled

I stood still.
Nothing awaits me.
Not you.
Not me either.
The footprints in sand -
Which pair is mine?
I am going in circles
Will this ever end?

I could hear his voice,
so near and yet so far.
I cried out loud.
A hungry silence ate my words.
I reached out;
Darkness enveloped me.

I tried to escape within,
now I am lost again.
The walls are closing in.
How do I escape from myself?

I stood still.
Death awaits me.

Phew!!!

Read through all those posts in all the blogs...commented as many times as Sagnik has posted, if not less :)

Now i am spent...

ciao!

All for Kaapi & Kaapi for All

February 15th, 2005.
6 A.M
I should be starry eyed after a wonderful Val-day but hey you are talking of Kumari here, Man's best friend (And no i am not a B***H) and SHE is Bleary eyed after sleeping her day through office. I waited longingly for that one call to make my day.
Silence.
Our pet crow was screaming its lungs out in the balcony asking for its morning breaker.
And then it struck me - Amma's not in town. Damn it!

6.45 A.M
The milk maid who on any sane day would be ringing my door bell at 5.45 A.M was today busy watching the flowers open, smelling the grass, seeing God paint the skies in every known colour....in short, she was LAZING!
Aaargh! Shower time.

7.20 A.M
Rushed to the bus-stop thinking i am late only to find myself as the first fool to land up.
Now it would be another long travel across the many potholes to Hell's Kitchen where i dish out unpalatable code for someone who has no clue what he wants :) Hmm....ammma says i should never kick a gifting horse in its mouth but then donkeys don't think, they only kick!

9 A.M
I kept staring at my monitor. Naah...not at all stimulating.
I stared at my cubicle mate typing away to glory on her Text Editor. Gawd! Where did she get her strength?
One of the most important point during the English Drama Club auditions was if you can emote as a person suffering from constipation. My emotions were always inadequate and i never got into EDC. Ask those blokes to walk into my cube now, i can just win that competition Hands down. {Well the Tamil Drama troupe didn't want constipated gits, so i made it there :)
For every closed door, i guess there is an open window (Pun unintended!)}

10 A.M
I gave up on life and walked to my pantry, opened the door...My heart stopped beating. There he was, just the way i had dreamt of him - Tall, Dark and Handsome and smelling exactly the way i wanted him to. I pinched myself. Yikes! that hurt. I walked closer to him and smiled. He winked back. I caressed him, ever so tenderly and he responded...Out gushed a mug of hot, steaming, frothy, wonderful, exciting, sexually-stimulating cuppa Coffee - My elixir!

The Queen is Dead. Long live My Man!

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Avail this wonderful offer now and you will be stumped for words (pun unintentional).

My first book review

Book: Time And A Cyclone
Author: Sudharsan Seshadri Nagarajan

Primo, one should commend the author for taking up a difficult topic like Time Travel and doing justice to it. It’s not often one sees a first time novelist try to tackle the hurdles of science-fiction and still not get bogged down by it. Kudos to Sudharsan on this front.

The author has done his research well with respects to this fictional place ‘Adiokentha’. Drawing parallels to Dhanushkodi, Tamil Nadu which was wiped away off the face of earth on Dec 22, 1964, and this story is the protagonist’s travel back in time to a fictional Adiokentha to save it from an impending killer cyclone…A journey against time and the all-pervading Nature.

However having said that, what strikes you the most in this novel is not Nature but the protagonist and his views. It is truly a noble feat indeed for someone to attempt to save a city and its 700 inhabitants from the wrath of nature and to set things right in this failing world, yet the reader would not like to listen to a sermon. The story begins as a quest to alter history but somewhere down the line we forget all about Adiokentha as it is Ram who is all pervading and not Nature as we were led to believe. (I agree RSS would insist there is nothing wrong with the above statement but we do know better than that)

Another area where the author should spend considerable effort is the proof-reading ritual. There were quite a few sentences that needed pruning and a few glaring spelling errors which really don’t do justice to the author’s passion for the language or his expertise in it.
I agree it is a pain to wade through sheaves of papers for that one letter putting a wrong foot in front, but considering the impact a book creates, it is well worth the time and effort. After all, we, as budding writers would rather prefer to be noticed for our work rather than not notice our work in detail.

In his endeavor to re-write history, the author rakes up many issues that plague us like illiteracy, hatred, apathy and superstition but fails to provide a concrete solution for any. Maybe if he had just stuck to the tussle between Man & Earth and tried to take the story towards a positive consensus on that, then yes, we could have closed the book and sighed with content. But now, it is a pang of incompleteness that awaits you…wishing you knew why Nature did what she did or why Man reacts the way he does.

Of course, the one aspect that really does bring a smile to your face is the utter simplicity of that Time machine. There are no inexplicable Physics formulae, no new jargon that require you to twist your tongue to pronounce it, just a simple container with 3 watches to transport you from one dimension to another…just the way the little kid in you would describe it.

This review is not a Find-faults-with-Magnifying-Glass spree, rather an attempt to help the author grow and work his way towards the pinnacle of literary excellence, we all aim for.

P.S: Any factual, spelling, ideological, logical error in penning this review rests solely on me and my untrustworthy grey cells!

Back to the Blogger...

Took a weekend vacation to native place to wish Grand-Daddykins on his 85th budday!

Thanks - To all those who missed me.
For those who didn't - well you missed missing a miss!

The next post would be a book review which i did sometime b4 the weekend but never really found the time to do the needful.

And yeah, before i forgot, Happy Valentine's day!

Just a passing thought...

In a world of uncertainties, is Certain Death a good thing or a bad thing?
Good night!

Things not to do after 9pm debugging code...

• Listen to any kind of music coz your PM asks you to be the DJ for the entire wing :)
• Listen to Nayagan's 'Thenpandi seemayile...' - coz you are busy trying to stifle your tears that that GLARING bug completely evades your eye.
• Listen to 'O Podu...' - coz you start head banging for it, hit the monitor and lose consciousness. (My blog so i insist on exaggeration!)
• Listen to 'Kadhal Seidhal Pavam...' - coz you remember your promise to Vishnu, try to translate the song and diligently forget your code till a huge hulk stands behind your chair and screams "So this is why deadlines are always missed. Buhahahaha!" (My Pm's evil laughter)
• Call up Daddykins who is on vacation, end up talking about blogging and you return to your seat only to open up Blogger.com and publish this balderdash.

"Kumari Next song" - my PM's request.

This is the only time i wanna obey him so let me try to crawl back into his good books :)

Interesting...

Check this URL & the site :)
Check the URL urself

Courtesy: Cuz Shiv - The Linux Dude!

His quote for the day: Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
His favourite quote: Avoid the Gates of Hell. Use Linux
My favourite quote: If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.

I look at the yellowed paper
Filled with meaningless squiggles…
If words could wage wars,
Restore peace,
Why do mine always fall short
When I want to profess my undying love???
Wasn’t so long in the past
When the music played;
Now the gramophone sings
But I can no longer hear...
I sway my arms blindly
Twirling myself in your invisble hands
For an unwritten melody.
Why did you leave?
Why did I let go?
Questions abound but answers?
I am here, will always be
With my broken gramophone
And my yellowed paper…
I am here…but you?

Party Time

Little Mandooo Confucius has won the On The Spot Award at office.
Hip Hip Hurray!

Quoting the prize winner verbatim:

Thank you my lucky charm, ever since I started talking to you,
life has changed for me.

And I get to keep the Gift voucher too :p:p

Hope he doesn't kill me for quoting him in public but then Princess loves to
flaunt!

Non-stop non-sense

Did you have hopes of expecting a theory disproving the theory which disproved Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
Long live your blind optimism!

Why is a person who cooks called a Cook and not a Cooker?

If that is logical then why is someone who bakes called a Baker and
not a 'Bake'? While we are baking, why isn't the feminine of Baker not 'Bakerie'????

If i work smart i save time. Good. When do i get that 'saved' time back?

Lost in Translation

This is a very crude translation of 'Iru Vizhi unadhu' song from the movie 'Minnale'. (RHTDM in Hindi). It is a very beautiful song and i am sure you would feel a gross injustice has been meted out by yours truly...however i did this translation for a friend of mine who didn't and still doesn't know Tamil but wanted to sing the song all the same.

This English piece can be sung to the same tune as the Tamil one.
My favourite song :)

Eyes are yours

Eyelids are yours

Dreams alone will be mine.

Days are lengthening, when you have gone away

Why punishment with me here to stay?

Oh oh One memory!

Oh oh Your memory!

When you're hurt in love, there's no place for sleep

Just memories...your memories.

Ahem...

Writer's Block
Originally uploaded by ponckumari.

Need i say more?

Sold out

I knew i have a vacant mind.
But i never knew it could be leased out for concerts.
I swear there is a boy band sitting inside my head strumming their guitars, beating their drums and trying to imitate Jethro Tull while crooning "I'll make love to you ta da tan tan ta da da da..."

I am definitely seeing stars, with or without Jethro Tull and his love-making.
I wanted to wrap up this module by EOD today, however i couldn't abstain longer than this from writing. It's not that blogging is the only writing i do but then Dodo is trying to be on the good books of his German boss and Mandoo decided to let me work in peace.
So no mails exchanged between the female under pressure and the males she doth treasure.

I wrote a few nondescript lines of code which aren't working. i guess that is why i am here;to forget my code and Dammit! i keep repeating it to myself.
Someday, I shall make sure I loses myself so that I is never in trouble.
But Me thinks, that would be a tough gamble to pull off.
As for myself, time to leave sanity to the rest of the world.
I am better off without the excess baggage of logic and reason.

chus

P.S: What an obscene time to blog. Sheesh! Shame on you Kumari!

Why do I blog?

- I suffer from compulsive, obsessive writing disorder.

My fave limerick

As a beauty I'm not a star
There are others prettier far
But my face, i don't mind it
Coz i'm behind it
It's those in front that jar.

*Picked it from a Readers Digest copy.

**Sweetheart that she is Kanika, painted a T-Shirt for me and wrote this piece behind for all to see :)

Love is in the air

...i have decided to stop inhaling.

Mystery revealed...

In response to Vitalstatistix's comments to previous post:

Q: Two girls leading Divinity . That is a Secret. So who am I ?
A: Me :-D

--The above is the cryptic clue created by my colleague Vidhya during one of our "guess your team" crossword game.

'Chidambaram' is Dad's mom's name. Dad being first born and i being his only kid, i 'need' to have grandma's name :)
Dad's name is Ponnambalam. Ideally initial should have been 'P' but then amma felt i would be ridiculed as 'P' in tamil meant shit and in English also didn't sound any saintly :) So settled for 'Pon' - gold.

Started this as a comment but realised it is longer than my news snippet. So decided to make it into a post.
Anymore fundas on my name and i'll cease to be an enigma :-D

In(dia) Smiles

*Big Grin*

My article is finally up in Sulekha.com's India Smiles Contest page.
So any of you dudes having the time and the bandwidth to go to another site for my kind of balderdash, you know what to do :)

Thank you!

Sexy Sixty

yup....this is my sixtieth post!
Blogger has its post-counter down coz they are tinkering with it.
Hence decided to put my KG Math to proper use :-D

January seems to have been a really productive month with yours trulling posting balderdash 27 times!
Whooopppeee!

unrelated, uninteresting tidbits

I Hate

• Staying in office after 6 P.M especially when my Manager isn't around.
• Deadlines that can be met only by SuperMan.
• Not receiving compliment(s) for being dressed in a pretty blue salwar-kameez with matching watch, ear-rings, bangles and chain!
• When my inbox remains empty tho' i am checking after 3 hours :(
• NOT able to photo-blog tho i downloaded Hello+Picasa+Got a Hello user name etc.
• Code that doesn't debug itself.
• 'User-friendly' Design document that is nowhere near the user and not at all friendly.
• Most importantly, blogging my gripe.

Chus(apparently this is ciao in german slang!)

psst: if you find spelling errors, have fun! coz they were intentional. If you don't then that was intentional too :)

Feb 1st...

Quote picked from my Office BB:

My take home Salary does not even take me home ...

Interesting!